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8 Things People Who Always Win Their Breakup Do Differently

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1. DO NOT LISTEN TO ALT INDIE LOVE SONGS ON PANDORA (especially at work).

This is like testing yourself to see how much you can cry in an 8 hour spanand to spare you the tears, Ill tell you its a lot. Youll find yourself relating every single song to your life.even when it makes no fucking sense. Im pretty sure one song was about a guy losing his father in a car accidentbut at the time it felt like it was about me making too many mistakes and never being happy again. Just dont do it-k? (Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes-Home just came on Pandora and I immediately stabbed my computer. See? Will power. Handle your emotions in a healthy way like this.)

2. DO NOT SAD EAT 4 EVER.

Its okay to spend one entire Saturday on the couch watching , sympathizing with Joseph Gordon Levitt, and only getting up to eat-but dont do it forever. These writers dont give you a timeline in all those How to Get Over Your Ex listiclesthey just say likeits ok to eat lots of icecream and lay in bed. All of our favorite movies show the pretty girl doing this to get over her boyfriend (think Reese in) but, like, shes already perfect and can afford to do that. You need to (when youre ready) be ready for boy catchin season. Dont let your sorrow show in your love handles and double chinsonly feel bad for yourself for a limited amount of time.

3. DO NOT USE YOUR WIT, INTELLECT, AND WAY WITH WORDS TO TXT YOUR EX.

Actually, this should just bedont text your ex but whatevs. Ya know when you just cant shake the feeling that youre the best thing he will ever have? That he probably really deep down wants to kiss you and tell you that your eyes sparkle even more now than the first time he saw you? That your gentle laughter plays on a loop in his head and he will never forget the way your one dimple sticks out when you smile too hard? LOL. Just dont. Dont try to come at this from every angle. Dont try to be clever. Dont talk about old memories. Dont tell him all aboutTRU LUV~. Dont confuse your pride for wanting someone back. In your head, you are justsaying how you feel and being honest in his headyoure being literally psycho and look like an idiot. *hypothetical, no this did not happen to me yesterday at 8 p.m.

4. DO NOT TELL EVERYONE YOU ARE MOVING AWAY AND SEE YA NEVER AND YOURE GETTING ON A PLANE TOMORROW.

Dont try to escape from it, just let yourself feel it. Dont be impulsive and especially dont let others know how impulsively youre thinking. Be rational and let yourself sift through the craziness down to what you are actually thinking. I had this idea that if I went to see my bff4lz in Arizona and stayed there for a while that maybe my brain would just erase the last 2 and years and upon exiting the plane I would just feel an immediate rush of happiness and relief. This is stupid. I mostly know because my dad laughed a little when I told him, and he tries really hard not to laugh at me when he knows I am being serious.

5. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT HOOKING UP WITH OTHER GUYS OR DATING OR ANY OF THAT BULLSHIT.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else is the most ridiculous garbage Ive ever heard. Unless youre a savage with no feelings and would like to continue burying your true feelings and self-worth, then this is the worst idea possible. I hate when girls are likeOOoo0o single, Im just gonna do my thing and go out and meet boyz no strings attached!. No. No bitch. Youre going to go out and get hammered and have a one night stand then cry the entire next day because youre an emotional train wreck and then convince yourself that Kyle from UConn was the love of your life and it was fate that you met him and you really felt a connection even though he called you the wrong name when you guys were hooking up. Dont do this. Youll regret it immensely and in the meantime will just be going backwards in the whole healing process.

6. DO NOT STALK ANY NEW GIRL YOU THINK THE EX IS HANGIN WITH.

Though it is wired into every woman, as true instinct, to study and become familiar with any creature that has taken our latest preywe must fight this urge and stop being psycho. Once or twice is fine (three or four times wont hurt you) but to continually do this is absolutely pointless. First of all-you dont even know this broad and whatever fantastical picture you paint of her is only your own insecurities and warped way of thinking doing it. Dont tell yourself she isnt pretty (because chances are she probably is) and dont compare yourself to her. As my boi Jay-Z put it,Remind yourself, nobody built like you, you design yourself.

Any girl who pretends she doesnt or hasnt done this is a liar and kind of pathetic. Also know that this new girl is also stalking you. So dont feel bad about a moment of weakness but just dont put yourself through that bull shit. You didnt want it anymore, so just because someone else does, dont second guess yourself. Also remember: he is on that POF and MeetMe dating site and messages any girl who has her boobs showing a little bit in their prof pic, so I dont think hes looking for true love just yet. Plus, you were there before, and anyone else who comes after has to deal with that (you pretty, funny, intelligent son of a bitch, you.) Youre a tough act to follow.

7. DO NOT REREAD OLD NOTES, LOOK AT OLD PICTURES, AND OTHER IDIOTIC SHIT.

What are you trying to do to yourself? Psychologists have proven that when a human being is suffering from heartbreak they almost ALWAYS have the tendency to block out any negative memories and hold tight onto the good. A picture that used to make you thinkWhat a douche bag he was that dayI could have fucking pushed him off that golfcartlook at his stupid fucking smile now makes you thinkWow. Look how happy we look. Hes gorgeous. That was our last day golfing together.

Its funny. Laugh. Dont cry about it. Burn all that shit. Anything that makes you second guess yourselfuse it to make some smores. Unless youre completely over the kid and can confidently say you feel fine, get rid of every sentimental piece of garbage soiling your house.

8. DO NOT BE STUCK IN THE PAST.

Everything that happened has happened for a reason. You cant go back. Stop drilling your mistakes into your head or asking what you could have done differently. Stop blaming yourselfyou werent the only one in the relationship. Stop thinking things can change because chances are, they are the way they are for good. Dont replay any memories just yet, especially good ones. If youre gonna reflect on your relationship-think about the times you wanted to open up the passenger side door and roll onto the high way when you were on a road trip together.

Think about how a lot of times you liked his sister and mom way better than him. Remember the time when you were so embarrassed he was your boyfriend when you went out with all your friends. Think about those times. Even if most times were good at youll miss the shit out of him, right now think about the times you hated him. It helps.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/maggie-morgan/2016/05/8-things-people-who-always-win-their-breakup-do-differently/

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